Reflections in the rain

Merciless downpour drenching the pavement, …changing roads into muddy pools, causing massive go-slows, corrupting phone lines and bringing the whole city to a halt. The sun is hidden by heavy clouds and the smattering of the rain overpowers even the sound of generators. Then, by night the air is cool, the cicadas sing their songs and the dark silhouettes of palm trees are swaying gently in the wind. It is rainy season.

I sit out on my porch and slowly drink a glass of wine, taking in the mellow evening. On an overcast Sunday I wake up to the bombastic preaching of the next-door redeemed church of Christ (their generator never seems to give up while mine has as a pastime to flake on me particularly on weekends) and don’t bother to go out because of the rain, spending the day reading, settling down in the afternoon to the distant prayers of an imam.

But this is on a lazy day – I do indulge in more energetic activities too! Like for example walking… to the nearest fastfood restaurant for some jollof rice and dodo. The walk is about 2-300 meters but is quite a novelty since everyone’s inclination is to take the car wherever you go. I have started jogging within our estate and am doing exercise in the garden after the run, much to the amusement of our security guards, I am sure. The only problem with jogging (apart from the fact that timing has to be chosen carefully: it should still be light for the sake of personal safety and there should also be NEPA so that I don’t have to take heavy breaths of generator exhaust while trying to keep fit - and believe me these two conditions almost hardly coincide) is all the spectators in the street who encourage me with hollers like ‘welldone’ and ‘good for your body’.

Since coming back to Nigeria from my holiday I have started to sample the Lagos nightlife again, even though a resolution as an outcome of my vacation reflections was to live healthily (hence the exercise) and cut down on alcohol and late nights. But the sad truth is, in this environment there is a very strong urge to ‘unwind’. Plus, my darling friend Bisola is going back to England this weekend so I’ve wanted to take the opportunity to hang with her as much as possible before she disappears. Already after 6 months here many of the faces in the bars and clubs are the same and predictability is definitely setting in. There will be groups of Lagos big boys living it up with champagne, with a bunch of hangers-on around their table, everyone crowding upstairs in the VIP lounge of the ultimate hangout, Bacchus (noone wants to admit they like it but everyone winds [up] there eventually) eagerly scoaping the dance floor for babes.

One of the most cited statistics is that there are 3 or 4 girls to every guy in Lagos. I have no idea if this is true but it would definitely explain a lot when it comes to pulling. Here’s a bit of amateur behavioural psychology for you: there is an alternative moral code developing in Nigeria, whereby those who do not cheat on their wives or girlfriends are the ones to feel left out and a man of stature is expected to have multiple girlfriends, and conversely, the more girlfriends the higher the status of someone. If you ask any Nigerian man he will vehemently deny this and claim that it has nothing to do with Nigeria: all men all over the world are the same. However, here apart from the demographic imbalance the role of socio-economic factors also boost infidelity – polygamy is still widely spread and women are economically dependent on their husbands, making them less likely to go their own way just because the man is unfaithful. And the strong religious and family-oriented outlook Nigerians have means that filing for a divorce is a bigger scandal than putting up with a man who has a taste for extramarital activities (or a woman for that matter). Naturally, there are exceptions, but where would the fun of outrageous postulations go if I tried to be nuanced in my analysis?

So instead, let me be even more obnoxious. A big reason for guys being players and all this cheating is that there are some very wealthy people around, with too much money and time on their hands. There is a shortage of leisurely activities and hobbies to pursue, so the default is creating excitement in an otherwise monotonous lifestyle by having an affair. And since many are more concerned by earning money from oil and gas contracts and impressing on ladies, they may be more interested in the looks of said ladies rather than their personalities, which is why women are treated as materialistic objects to desire, pursue, then exchange/upgrade once acquired.

I totally expect to receive hate mail after this rant, but if I do get some I’ll just feel vindicated that I’ve hit the nail on the head, so please don’t bother :).